


Piss Off

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Hard Core Logo (1996)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-21
Updated: 2004-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 04:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1631600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New York, 1991.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Piss Off

**Author's Note:**

> Written for alinewrites

 

 

New York, 1991 --

This trip was supposed to be their reward. After Joe brought in Ed "Mr. Rolodex" Festus to manage them, this was gonna be the big payoff. They'd spent nearly 12 fucking years living out of duffle bags and humping across North America in whatever bucket of bolts they could tape together to rattle them from one stale beer gig to the next. After all the no-money bullshit of third-rate bathroom-echo recording studios, xeroxed flyers and crappy hand-cranked t-shirts, this was supposed to be _it_. And for the first time in his life, Billy was starting to believe.

New fucking York. The big time, their big shot. Big shot, right -- Seymour Stein, head of Sire records sitting front and center with a whole big-shot entourage of flunkies and notetakers and wannabes. This was it, all right. Billy took a satisfied swig of beer and peered out into the dimly lit club -- a sea of heads, loud already, buzzing with anticipation. The first two nights here, their shows had been nearly perfect; Billy couldn't remember them ever sounding so tight. And now, for the last show, Seymour Stein, the guy who'd signed The Ramones, was here to see _them_.

"Billiam!"

Joe's shout brought Billy back to the moment, and he turned to join his band mates, who were already gathered into their traditional pre-show psych-circle. Pipe was nearly frothing over with adrenaline; he knew what was at stake tonight, and for once in his fucked-up life, he looked ready for the challenge. John... well John always wore the same weird, serene expression now that he'd been properly diagnosed and medicated. It made him hard to get a handle on sometimes, but that beat the fuck out of the raving Bedlam-on-wheels their last tour had turned into when he had his breakdown. No, if there was a wild card in all this, it was Joe.

Joe "We'll Never Sell Out" Dick, like he was some kinda purist (instead of what he really was -- what they all really were -- a bunch of peckerheads who hadn't caught a real break worth selling out _for_ ). But hell, Joe was the one who'd brought Ed Festus on board in the first place, saying they'd needed a "real manager." He was the one who'd put this all in motion. And they'd played so well all through this trip so far. Joe had to be able to taste this, he must want it as badly as Billy did. They'd been through too much shit together for it to be any different.

The PA system squawked to life as the club owner began to announce them. A crescendo of noise rising from the crowd drowned out everything until his voice hoarsely reemerged to shout: "Hard Core Logo! "

"All right, let's give these fuckers a night to remember," Joe said with a wink just as they took the stage.

They plowed through the beginning of the set with ferocious energy; ripping through the first four songs with barely a break between for Joe to spit his usual jokes and insults out at the crowd. Billy was glad for the frantic pace Joe was driving, it kept his nerves on edge, kept the energy where it needed to be: poured into the music, controlling the mayhem. That air of dangerous uncertainty was like the fifth member of the band, the lurching, rollercoaster, freakshow vibe, always threatening to careen out of control. Let the crowd wonder -- how drunk were they, how angry were they, how crazy were they tonight? And yeah, fuck, sometimes it did spill over and they'd wreck horribly all over the stage; but that wasn't going to happen now. This time, this trip, they were here to collect a reward.

The closing notes of "China White" rang around them and Joe signaled for a quick break. As Billy, Pipe, and John all took the opportunity to mop sweat and gulp down some beer, Joe pulled the mic out of its stand and walked right up to the very front of the stage, within spitting distance of Seymour Stein.

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to our _fan_ -tastic new manager, Mister Ed Festus!" Joe yelled out in that fake-hearty voice of his that instantly put Billy on edge. But then Joe turned back to the band without further incident and called for "Something's Gonna Die," and Billy relaxed and strummed the opening chords. And if Joe was shouting out the words "something's gonna die tonight," in the chorus with a little extra gusto, it wasn't anything Billy had never heard him do before. This was a big night; they were all a little excited. And then Joe ripped the mic from its stand and strode to the front of the stage again, pacing a tight beat back and forth in front of Stein's table.

Billy wasn't even aware he was holding his breath until it was too late. It was one of those surreal moments that seemed to take place in slow motion (which maybe meant he'd seen too many movies, but whatthefuckever) -- Joe picking up one Doc Marten'd foot and setting it squarely onto Seymour Stein's table. From his position behind Joe, Billy couldn't see the expression on Joe's face, but he sure as hell could see that Stein looked confused and a little annoyed. Then Joe's other foot landed on the table and Billy could see Joe fumbling with something in front of him.

The piss was already splashing into Stein's gin and tonic and all over table, Stein shoving back in disgust and horror, before Billy even fully registered just what Joe was doing.

"Hey, see if you can sell that, ya corporate weasel!" Joe growled into the mic, delivering the coup de grace.

Billy had no recollection of how he managed to get off the stage -- it was like some kind of temporary blackout. The next thing he knew, he was backstage with Pipe and John, the club owner's yelling about their truncated gig a distant annoying whine in the background. Joe was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is he?" Billy ground out, struggling to keep his voice under control.

"Uh..." John began in his usual hesitant way, but Billy cut him off with a waved hand before he had the chance to launch into one of his slow-turtle rambles. He turned and pointed his cigarette at Pipe instead.

"Where the fuck is he?"

Pipe jabbed towards the ceiling with his finger as he finished swallowing a massive chug of Jack Daniels. "I think I saw him sneak up to the roof." He belched, adding after Billy's retreating back: "You fucking kick his ass, man!"

The crisp night air setting off the sparkling downtown New York skyline just heightened the unreality of the whole thing as Billy reached the roof. That was supposed to be their fucking _oyster_ out there tonight, and instead...

Joe was standing in one corner, leaning back against the tar-spackled roof-edge, smoking a cigarette, a half-empty bottle of Dewar's between his feet. He was drunker than Billy had realized earlier, swaying unsteadily.

"Ah, it was never for real, Billy," he said looking up defiantly as Billy approached. "Festus was just gonna fuck us, and you know it."

Billy took a deep breath, stepping even closer, challenging. "And Seymour Stein? Was he gonna fuck us too?"

Joe shrugged. "They're all the same. Buncha weasels."

Billy could hear his heart beating in his ears. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't...

"He signs real bands, Joe! Why the fuck would he have bothered to show up for our gig, huh? Tell me that!"

"Weeee- _zel!_ " Joe bellowed nonsensically towards the sky, exhaling cigarette smoke and scotch fumes.

Billy shook his head and threw his cigarette down onto the tar, grinding the butt out with the heel of his boot. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

"You know something? You're fucking hopeless. You don't even want a record deal. You couldn't fucking handle it if we _did_ get an offer."

" _You couldn't fucking handle it,_ " Joe mimicked in singsong before breaking out into a hollow laugh. He leaned his chin out tauntingly. "What'sa matter, Billy? Are all your big rock star dreams crushed now?"

Billy resisted the urge to punch the smirk off Joe's face. Suddenly he felt like he was seeing it clearly for the first time -- that was just what Joe wanted him to do. Throw a punch, start a fight, slug it out like they'd done so many -- hundreds? -- of times before. Slug it out so there'd be blood on both their faces. Smear a little of the blame around in the murky haze of violence, then sleep it off, and stagger up the next day to start the whole fucking cycle over again.

But not this time.

"I'm done, Joe. You guys can... you can do whatever the fuck you want after tonight, but I'm done."

"Billy--" Joe started in his I'm-not-finished-with-you-yet voice, but Billy turned and headed back towards the roof access door, boots crunching on the glass-strewn tar paper. "Billy," Joe said again, sharper, louder, but Billy still kept walking. Finally, Joe's voice dropped to his ugliest snarl, "Come back here, you fucking pussy!"

Billy stopped when he reached the door. He started to pull it open, then hesitated, head down and shoulders slumped for a long beat of silence. His chest felt tight, and he wasn't sure he could go on. Not after eighteen years of friendship, of love and music and fighting and sometimes-fucking, and drinking and coke, and shitty clubs, and miles of road, and hundreds of songs, and secondhand clothes, and fast food, and time travel, and night after night after night after night of staying up looking at glittery night skies like this one talking about their dreams. But Joe needed them to _stay_ dreams, and that was never gonna change.

Billy yanked open the door, and went downstairs alone.

###

 

 

 


End file.
